Justified

Well, that was a crazy turn of events. I think now that my last post is somewhat justified. I sometimes think I'm being haunted by the Spirit of Irony. I expect one thing to happen. Then the opposite happens. Then, when I become used to this turn of events, the original thing I expected happens.
I suppose that this would have been easier if I hadn't seen it coming. If I hadn't been dreading that moment for days, if I hadn't lain awake at night with doubt gnawing at the edges of my sanity.
It's times like these when I really justify an emotional shut down. And why not? It's not as though I can expect anything for the present... perhaps never. But you know what I mean. Stray cats don't get domesticated, don't have homes. I only have the moon at night and the memories of better times. These memories won't let me rest.
But Hmmm... this sounds familiar... Oh, yes. I've been horrible and melodramatic like this before. I wonder if the sound I hear is really me whining or just history repeating...

Fury Rising

This post isn't about my self pity or my sorrow. No, this one is about my fury, frustration and anger. But this fury isn't directed at anyone you know. This fury is all for someone else: for me.
I have noticed a pattern in my life. A vicious cycle that leaves me more battered with every time I run through it. The thing that frustrates me most, is that I can never do anything to stop myself from running down this beaten path. Every time, I think "Maybe this time it will be different," or "Perhaps this time I have a chance." Every time, that spark of Hope catches on something in my desires, and I can't help but burst into a feverish flame. Except, when everything plays out to the end, I'm left with bitter nothingness.
Not even ashes.
When people run in circles it's a very, very mad world.

Laying the Groundwork

I've suspected this for quite some time now. Someone once told me that there is no happiness without suffering before it. If you are happy now, you probably had to suffer to get there, or more likely, someone else suffered before you. My current trials are part of a preparation that will allow me to fully apreciate what comes ahead. Or not. Who can say? However, this knowledge gives me no solace, as I don't know when this trial ends. C'est la vie. C'est la guerre. C'est la amor.

A Tentative Return

So I guess I'll post here again. Of course, there seems little point, as anyone who woud read it now believes that I will never come here again. Though that could be a blessing in disguise, as I could type my true thoughts without fear of being discovered. But let's not get ahead of ourselves, non? Still, I feel this new bout of blog-thusiasm will last only so long. How long until my words are drowned out by despair and melodrama once again? I give it maybe a month, weather permitting.
Au Revoir
Most respectfully yours, Daniel Renquist

But Suddenly, A Turn For The Worse!

I'll tell you flat out, I am not a new person to the bottom. I am destitute and tired. Which seems a little ironic, seeing as how I have so much reason to be happy. I have a close circle of friends and family who care and a promising career ahead of me. I guess I kind of sympathize with Taylor Rodriguez. However, Taylor was murdered by his wife. I can't relate to that. I stole a gnome. Take it away FIF. Why is Love so painful? Why do we always lose? I've been taking paths made for the lost, the bitter and recluse.

The Greatest Story Never Told

So yesterday when I got out of court, I was feeling good. We totally prosecuted Jes Markson for first degree murder. So on my way out, the defense side followed us with a video camera. I wasn't too worried about this, because I had heard of teams recording the trials for notetaking purposes. However, they came up to us and made conversation. It went as follows.

(scene: outside the courtroom. There are several people around including Pascal, Kurtis, Reed, Camera Girl, Defense Attorneys and Myself.)

Camera Girl: Hi. We're doing a Mock Trial video. We're going to iclude bits from all of our scrimmages and competitions.

Reed: That's pretty cool.

Defense Attorney 1: Yeah, but it's a dance video.

Camera Girl: So if you guys could help us out...

Kurtis: I can't dance.

Reed: Everyone's waiting for us...

Chris: Well, alright, but I'm not very good...

Defense Attorney 2: (sotto) He's the cool one.

Chris puts his briefcase down and does a break dance. As is his custom, it isn't very good.

Defense Attorneys 1-3: How awesome!

Chris finishes and grabs his briefcase. He exits the buliding. Scene

(scene: outside the courthouse. The Templeton Mock Trial teams are waiting in a group. Attorneys and Witnesses are exiting the building. Chris hurries towards the group. He is followed by the Company from last scene.)

Reed: Wait, what was that?

Kurtis: You had a bad ending. It left a bad taste in the mouth.

Chris: Let's go. Come on, we're leaving.

Defense Attorney 9: (in background)Will you marry me?

Chris pretends not to hear. He keeps walking.

Pascal: Chris Kidd! She asked you a question, Chris Kidd!!

Defense Attorney9: Will you marry me?

Chris crosses to her. He puts a hand on her shoulder.

Chris: I'm sorry. you know that I can't. It's not you... It's me.

Pause. Chris then turns around and fades into the crowds. Fade out on Defense Attorney 9 crying. Scene.

And I never looked back. That was the highlite of my day. But it was kind of embarassing at the time.

Hmm. I See.

It seems that I haven't been editing my posts carefully enough. I don't want to worry you kids. Don't worry. This is just another step, and I think I might be heading somewhere better than where I've been. I suppose I owe a little to Hope, that "greatest of all treasures." Though I still retain a smidgeon of pessimissim, I think, in time I will defeat this.

~Au revoir